I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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