..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
