I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
