I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
