I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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