Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Randomize
