We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I'm too high and old for this...
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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