There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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