never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
