Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
