I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
