i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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