My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
