i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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