I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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