Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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