By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
