Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
