finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Randomize
