Me. At least after what I've been through.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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