Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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