We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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