once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
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