On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Reggie can tackle my bush.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
