he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
