I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
