is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
