I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I just cut my nipple shaving
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
