I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
