i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
