What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
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