Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
