My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
