apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
