More tranny stories later!
its not stalking. its research.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Randomize
