I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
