I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
