my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
