I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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