just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
