I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
