Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
