No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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