Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
