I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Edward fifth and chaser hands
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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