it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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