So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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