Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
