one two three fourrrrnication!
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
