Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
