i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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