I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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