thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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